The Further Adventures of Deluzy

Signed up for yoga

A 6-week intro course on Sunday mornings at 8 a.m. for an hour and 15 minutes, to start on April 15.  Rise and shine.

We shall see.

Gaming

The only other Native American gambling center I've been to, other than yesterday's trip to Cache Creek, is Foxwoods which I gather is the largest establishment of its kind in the country to date.  Ironically, Foxwoods sits only about five miles away from an early 19th century lakeside house in Connecticut to which my family has been going since the 1920s.  Fortunately, although traffic on the nearby road that goes past the house has increased, the looks of the immediate area have not changed.  It caused quite a stir when the casino went up, and it is, indeed, an enormous complex -- but frankly, given the U.S.'s execrable history with respect to indigenous peoples, I find it really hard to object to tribal casinos.  More power to them, I say: I hope they make a lot of money for the various tribes, and if folks like me and my family have a few issues with hoping the looks and experience of our summer homes aren't negatively impacted, well, that's understandable, but ethically it's got to be a secondary consideration.

Cache Creek was small in contrast to Foxwoods, but I liked that about it -- it was less crazy-making, frankly, than a larger environment. It's off a secondary highway, far out along a small road that winds through some beautiful farmland and some tiny, now-pretty-defunct California towns. (I may make another trip out there simply so that I can stop and check out those places a little more carefully ... I love tiny, dead towns.)

My friends and I stuck to the slot machines, and while I played more than $25 (i.e., my former high-stakes at casinos), I decided on an amount I was willing to play with before I walked through the doors, and when that was gone, I cashed out and walked away.  I'm strictly small-time, though both my friends did well: one won a $4,000 jackpot, and the other won a few thousand (though overall I believe he said he was up by only a couple of hundred dollars when all was said and done).

I found the total experience of the place -- the design, the psychology of it, the people --  pretty interesting.  For a while, after I'd cashed out, I simply sat with a cup of (excellent) coffee and people-watched. I'm not rich enough to be able to afford a gambling habit, but of course neither were a lot of people who were there, and that didn't stop them. Most seemed to be there for the total experience of being entertained, however; I only saw a couple of really obviously scary out-of-control folks who were upset at losing. 

For most of the people I watched, the experience of winning occasionally and losing more often is simply the price of entertainment.To be honest, I found it more interesting than I'd anticipated. I'd planned on being bored (I'd brought my iPod and a book, just in case I needed to sequester myself somewhere and wait for my friends), but I wasn't.

I'd go again.  Not often, but I'd go again.

Cache Creek

Link: Cache Creek.

Uh, I'm going here tomorrow with a couple of friends who are totally into the scene.  Apparently, they play, win (and, I would imagine, lose) thousands.

I'm so not a gambling kind o' gal, but they love it, so I'm going along to check it out and watch them do their thing.  It is my spring break, after all. 

(I've been to Las Vegas three times, I think, and as I recall, the largest amount I ever gambled was $25. In quarters. Throughout the night.  Cache Creek is not going to make more than that off of me, thanks!)

Another score on eBay

Before yesterday, my most recent purchase was three somewhat tattered novels by Frances Hodgson Burnett, which I'm looking forward to receiving.

Prior to that, it was two tickets to Wicked in Chicago.

Yesterday, it was a silver, turquoise, and coral Navajo bracelet which I half-suspect will be a little too big for me, but to which I'm looking forward anyway.  I don't care for turquoise alone, but I like it in combination with coral, and this is an older piece (well, relatively speaking -- probably 1940s).  As such, it's a relatively good deal at $49 (+$6 S&H).

It should look nice with the coral inlaid Navajo bracelet my oldest sister gave me several years ago and which I wear daily.

I confess my taste in jewelry grows more eclectic daily.  I mix gold, silver, and platinum; I like classic, somewhat understated gold necklaces and earrings, as my avatar photo clearly demonstrates, but I'll go with a mix in bracelets (and sometimes earrings, too, depending on my mood and clothing).  No doubt the effect is, occasionally, loony, not to mention a tad Stella Dallas-like.

For example, on my left wrist I currently wear my 10-year old Swiss Army watch (stainless steel with gold in the band); a sterling silver Tiffany charm bracelet engraved with my initials, given to me by my husband one birthday; the aforementioned bracelet that my sister gave me; and a Medic Alert bracelet in sterling silver strung on a thin, braided red, green, yellow and black cord from Lauren's Hope. On my left hand I wear my wedding and engagement rings (platinum and diamonds).

On my right wrist I wear a bracelet of Chinese jade beads strung on cord.  On that hand I wear a gold signet ring imprinted with the Driscoll family crest (my mother's maiden name).

Eclectic might be the wrong word.  Insane might be better.

Yoga

So I'm thinking about trying an introductory series of yoga classes (let me emphasize introductory).

Folks who do yoga swear by it, and somehow I think it would be a good thing to investigate, simply in terms of managing stress and reconnecting with a body I've never gotten to know well and that's totally changed dimensions in the last 15 months.

The key is going to be finding a place where I don't feel horribly self-conscious.  I'm a klutz, I have a certain amount of arthritis, I have a hernia that's a bit tender and restricts some movement ...

But somehow I think I'm using those elements as excuses not to look into something that I'm interested in because it scares and intimidates me to do so.

Persephone Books

Link: Persephone Books, rediscovered twentieth century novels, neglected women writers, twentieth century female authors, out of print books, inter-war novels.

It's Elaine's fault. She'd mentioned Persephone Books, its reissuing of The Shuttle by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and something about beautiful end-papers. I'm on spring break, and so, idly, I googled it.

Oh. My. God.

I covet every single title and volume they've got.

I foresee some serious spending soon.

First hernia/plastics consult scheduled

Gulp.  Tuesday, April 10.  The consultation fee can be applied toward surgery, if I decide to go with this surgeon (whom my PCP recommended as one who'd worked with a lot of formerly morbidly obese people), and he performs both hernia repairs and abdominoplasties (and endless other procedures that I'm not in the market for, of course).

(Apparently he's also a hand surgeon: my PCP told me to ask him for a cortisone shot for my trigger finger, which she said is not going to get better on its own and may be aggravated by arthritis in my hands.)

I need to schedule appointments with at least a couple of more surgeons. Comparative shopping.  If I hadn't hated the guy who did my friend G so much, I'd consider him: he did beautiful work but he was a serious dick, and he and I took an instant dislike to each other. That'd be a patient/doctor relationship made in hell.

(I think I'm insufficiently deferential to [and for] a lot of male doctors. The "I'm a god" approach of so many of them does not go over well with me.)

Size Zero? The UK Would Prefer A Size 12

Link: Size Zero? The UK Would Prefer A Size 12.

I don't know where to begin.

Is this a press release sponsored by a weight-loss surgery company?  Or is the study to which the piece refers simply sponsored by a weight-loss surgery company?

Mind you, I've had weight-surgery, so I'm not opposed to it as a final resort for controlling one's weight and health.

But I don't know that I'd trust a for-profit company that deals in weight-specific procedures to conduct such a survey. Or to interpret the results.

Finally, obviously, UK and US sizes are different.  And within U.S., at least, a size whatever (pick one -- 0, 2, 14) is larger than it used to be 10, 20, 50 years ago.  So, for that matter, are individual Americans. What are they really saying here?

On the face of it, the piece is all about how men and women "actually" find a larger size than anticipated attractive.  Underneath the surface, however, the piece is a tribute to the tyrrany of size and sizing.

I'm hardly immune to the thrills of dropping sizes, god knows.  I spent my entire adult life being clinically morbidly obese, so to fit into regular sized women's and junior-sized clothing now is, indeed, a thrill.

I'd like to think it's not term-defining as far as my self-esteem goes, however. 

Some medical decisions reached

Okay, so I saw my PCP yesterday, and after discussing the three possible surgeries I'm considering (i.e., hernia repair, abdominoplasty, hysterectomy), we've decided to deep-six the third for the time being.

The fact is, neither my hematologist nor my PCP thinks a hysterectomy would substantially affect my anemia -- which is the result of malabsorption, not GYN-related issues.

In fact, at the moment, I have no GYN issues.  There may or may not be a history of ovarian cancer in my family.  At some point, if it's indicated by relatives' health, I can have some genetic testing done to see I have the markers for ovarian cancer and if I do, I can have a hysterectomy performed at that time.  But as things stand now, there's no medical reason for one.

Furthermore, to do all three surgeries at once would be to put me under general anesthetic for many hours, and these days they just don't like to have to do do that. The full hysterectomy  is a more serious procedure than either of the other two, it carries a greater risk of infection and other complications, and now's just not the time.

So. Good.  I was feeling somewhat immobilized by having to research three different surgeries at once, as many as three different kinds of surgeons, and by the idea of trying to coordinate all of that.

Now I'll concentrate on the hernia repair and tummy tuck.  The first will be covered as medically necessary, the second will have a separate surgery fee attached to it that in all likelihood won't be covered, but since it will be done at the same time, the hospitalization, anesthesia, and other fees will be.

My PCP gave me the name of a surgeon to start with who performs both the hernia repair and the tummy tuck.  Of course, she's referred me to people I haven't liked at all, but it's a place to start.

Now, let's remember that I'm anemic and that I doubt seriously anyone will want to operate on me until that's brought under control.  So right now I'm just in the research stage. If it can happen this summer, that would be ideal.  If it can't, I'll cope. The key is to keep moving forward.

Blame Ezpy for this meme :)

1. What curse word do you use the most?  "Fuck". Followed by "shit".


2. Do you own an iPod?   Not only do I own one, but I rely on it to block out noise from the hallway outside my office.
   


3. What person on your f-list do you talk to the most?   I'm old -- what, for fuck's sake, is an f-list?


4. What time is your alarm clock set to?  4:45 a.m. That's life at a teaching university.
   


5. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?   Yes.  It was unremarkable.


6. Do you remember where you were on September 11th, 2001?   [Okay, you can tell this meme was designed by a child -- what do you mean do I remember?!?!] Working at home for a dot.com company.  My project manager IM'd me, told me she couldn't believe what was happening, and I thought she was referring to a difficult client. "Turn on the television," she told me.  And I did.


7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Neither.  I'm just not a Photo-Taking or Being-Taken Kind o' Chick.


8. What was the last movie you watched?  Little Miss Sunshine (on DVD).


9. Do any of your friends have children?  Yes.


10. Has anyone ever called you lazy?  No doubt. And I both am and am not.


11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? Yes.  An Ativan with a generic aspirin-PM chaser.  Works great.
    


12. What CD is currently in your CD player?  No more CD player --> all iPod and iTunes, via the computer.


13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?  Soy all the way now, unfortunately, thanks to DS-induced lactose intolerance.


14. Has anyone told you a secret this week?  No.


15. When was the last time you had Starbucks?  This afternoon. Grande soy sugar-free vanilla latte.


16. Can you whistle?  Barely.


17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?  Height, eyes, face.


18. What are you looking forward to?  Finishing reading one of my grad student's thesis (fortunately it's good, but I need to finish commenting and email it back to him).


19. Did you watch cartoons as a child?  Um, I still love The Flintstones.


20. Do you own any band t-shirts? Oh please.  No.


21. What will you be doing in one hour?  Eating dinner with my husband.
    


22. Is anyone in love with you?  I just so don't get the term "in love" as it's used these days -- not once you're past 16. I honestly don't know what folks (and let's face it, it's usually women) mean to convey when they use it. I'm not exactly putting down the term or people who use it, but I am saying that it mystifies me when it's used by adults.
    


23. What was the last song you heard?  Well, I'm streaming classical music over my computer as I work -- does that count?


24. Last time you cried?  Can't remember (hey, that's an improvement! I used to spend my life in tears!)


25. Desktop computer or a laptop?  Two laptops and a desktop (okay, I'm technologically spoiled).
    


26. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?  I'm considering another tattoo but since I can't think of what I want or where I want it, I'm not rushing into anything.
    


27. What's the weather like?  It's clearing now following a fairly heavy afternoon downpour.
    


28. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos?  Of course.  Why not? (Oh wait -- I'm married.  Well, except for that, why not?!)
    


29. What did you do before this?  I was reading that grad student's thesis -- which I should still be reading now.
    


30. When is the last time you slept on the floor?  Summer 2005.


31. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?  A lot more than I used to since I entered my 40s, that's for sure.  I used to be able to go 2-3 days without any sleep at all. Now I'm zonked and start to feel ill if I don't get at least 6 hours a night.


32. Do you eat breakfast daily?  Yes.  Mandatory for DS patients, as far as I'm concerned.  I generally drink a protein shake or eat a protein bar -- and wash either down with plenty of coffee.


33. Are your days fast-paced?  The ones I spend on campus are -- very.


34. What did you do last night?  Read a novel by Frances Hodgson Burnett in the living room while keeping my husband company as he watched TV.


35. Do you use sarcasm?  Golly, me?


36. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?  47.  (Sure beats 37! Or 27! Or 17!  Or 7!)


37. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?  I'm a horrible snob about both -- and I wish more people were like me.


38. Have you ever been to Six Flags? No.   


39. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?  I get along equally well with both at this point in my life, and I probably have the same number of close friends of both sexes. Utterly remarkable for a woman with an extensive history of childhood sexual abuse by her father -- and proof that genuine healing is possible.


40. Do you like mustard?  Love it!  Lowensenf Extra.


41. Do you sleep on your side?  Side and back.
    


42. Do you watch the news?  I'm a CNN junkie -- not that I think it provides quality news, mind you.


43. How did you get one of your scars?  I was running out the door on a summer evening, slipped, fell, and cut my lip -- which they sewed up without painkillers.  That was fun for a 4-year old. NOT.


44. Who was the last person to make you mad?  A gas station attendant who inadvertently ran up a $100 charge on my credit card and couldn't figure out how to reverse it.