Drafty

No, I'm not talking about wind.

I'm talking about how I continued to work like a maniac today, devoting the first part of the morning to my writing (slow going -- more on that in a moment), but I did manage to draft an introduction to the piece I'm working on. My gal pal E calls such pieces "creative critical inquiry," and I'm trying to keep that in mind as I search for a voice that somehow blends the purely academic with the more poetic.  Okay, so despite that goal, my intro has more to do with the Bush administration and less to do with the theatrical work it's ostensibly about, and I'm not sure where I'm headed with that -- something about the narratives and myths spun by culture -- but there's a kernel of coherent thought in there somewhere, and I simply refuse to worry about its current form.  The point right now is to keep writing, no matter what.

And I also now have more or less complete drafts of the syllabi for my four fall semester courses.  Good thing, too, as classes start on Monday -- but really, these are close to finished, and I just have to tweak a few more details. I think I've greatly improved one course, but the proof will be in the teaching of it.

Now, as to my difficulties in writing today:  again I got up quite early, did some Morning Pages, and then turned to my article, but I confess that I found it difficult to sit there even for two hours and concentrate on nothing but the writing. I'd turned off all distracting software (i.e., email programs, connection to the internet, etc.), but off-topic thoughts kept intruding: things I needed to do, subjects I wanted to look into.  I did keep a pad handy, and every time one of those thoughts flitted into my head, I simply wrote it down.  That way, I promised myself, I could address them -- just not right now. (I'm proud of myself for developing that simple coping strategy, actually.)

It was a strange list. Without explanation or editing, here it is, in the order that the thoughts occurred to me:

• Audre Lord on Amazon
• Email DP
• Look up conference forms and guides for participants
• Cottages at Hedgebrook
• Call M
• Clean up desktop on computer
• Pretty folders online

My brain is kind of a tricky beast.  When it saw that I refused to be effectively distracted from writing, it covered me with an overwhelming wave of sleepiness -- to the extent that I had to lean back in my chair and close my eyes for a few minutes.  Still, I didn't leave my desk, and I waited it out, then turned my attention back to my monitor screen.

I wrote about 1.5 pages in two hours.  I'm a slow writer at the best of times, and I wasn't happy with how little I wrote yesterday, but really, I need to reframe that:  I wrote today -- period. 

That's a good thing.

Comments

[emma]

Good for you!

I loved your description of your writing time today. Vivid. And I have nearly paralled those writing hours many times.

[Deluzy]

Emma, thanks!

Do you know Anne Lamott's BIRD BY BIRD? She has a terrifyingly funny few pages on what it's like to sit in front of the computer to write -- and of all the things that float through her head in the process. Painful, amusing, and spot-on!

[emma]

Oops, I meant "paralleled".

I will check BIRD BY BIRD. This is the first I have heard of it. Thanks.