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Caveats

  • © Deluzy - 2005-2008 - All Rights Reserved

Before and After DS Weight-Loss Surgery

  • 162 pounds (February 2007)
    A few snapshots of Then and Now

Pay It Back/Forward


  • The Hunger Site

Health and Wellness

  • The Google 15
    An excellent weight-tracking tool that keeps track of your moving weight average over time so that no single weigh-in is a cause for ecstacy or despair.
  • Understanding Your Tests
    A good preliminary resource for understanding your lab work (though of course it's no substitution for discussing results with your doctor)
  • FitDay - Free Weight Loss and Diet Journal
    An essential tool for me during my first 6 post-op months -- and a good reality check for anyone keeping track of daily food intake (e.g., calories, fats, carbohydrates, etc.) and activity levels
  • Gmaps Pedometer
    A wonderful tool that allows one to map exercise routes and calculate miles covered and calories burned

Products

  • Low Carb Corner
    As near as I can tell, this site sells nothing but two kinds of breakfast cereal -- but as one who's avoided cereal since my DS surgery because it contains virtually no protein and far too many carbs, Protein Crunch is a wonderful option (i.e., 27 grams protein, 2 net grams carbs). It's horrifyingly expensive but for WLS cereal lovers, it's worth the occasional splurge.
  • Perfectly Sweet
    Expensive but excellent source for sugar-free and no-sugar-added bakery and candy items.
  • Pure Protein RTD shakes
    At an average of 35 grams of protein, 3 grams of carbs, and 160 calories, these ready-to-drink shakes work for me because I can chill them, grab them, pack them, and go. Available from a variety of online sources or at GNC stores.
  • Spanx
    A line of comfortable foundation garments (and even easy-to-pack clothing) that comes in handy post-op to corrale that wayward, formerly obese flesh and make you feel comfortable. Available online, at Lane Bryant in larger sizes, at Nordstrom in smaller sizes, and sometimes at outlets for less.

Extras

  • Listed on BlogShares

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October 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Earthquakes and aftershocks

As of this evening, at any rate, all's well in my neck of the woods, folks.

Nope, I wasn't in the San Francisco Bay Area for the Loma Prieta earthquake, but I did live in Los Angeles (mid-Wilshire district) for the Northridge quake -- that was the scariest one I've been in so far, and I'm a native Californian.

Last night's was the second scariest -- only because it seemed to go on for a while, it was strongly felt on campus, and I had time to think, "Uh oh, this feels like it could do the whole Northridge thing if it goes on for much longer ..."

But it didn't.

So far, it's just business as usual, with no need for worry

(I'm going to be so sorry tomorrow ...)

Good god, I've been eating fun-sized Halloween candy today.  Maybe even smaller than that -- bite-sized, in some cases -- but the point is, it's been a hell of a lot of sugar compared to what I usually eat these days (which is little to none).

It doesn't make me gag or dump, but it may send me to the bathroom more times than I care to count tomorrow. Or not, come to think of it, which might be even worse.

Halloween's an old, old trigger, I guess, and not even in a bad way. I confess that I was completely taken aback by people's reactions to my costume today, though  -- a poufy, jewel-toned "queen" costume meant to be Target's riff on a Renaissance gown -- and those reactions might have stressed me out a bit and had me reaching for the chocolate.

Old, young, students, non-students: "You look beautiful!"  "You're so pretty!" "You look wonderful!" ... uh, I figured people would get a kick out of it and smile, but "Wow, you look gorgeous!" -- from my male students in their 20s?! 

You're kidding, right? 

Nope, they weren't. 

They weren't leering, mind you -- no, to a person, male or female, it was more about sense of delight and pleasure.  I guess somehow the total package just tapped in to childhood dreams of queens, princesses, fairy godmothers, and other magical women -- because those are all the things I was called today as people "named" what I was dressed as when they passed me, calling out to me and oohing and aaahing and literally catching their breath as they spotted me.

"Just beautiful."  And they meant it.

What a trip, man.

(An exhausting trip, too, I might add. But now I'm  home for the evening, safely tucked up with my husband and kitties, feeling much more comfy-cozy in my lounge pants, sweatshirt, and toasty-warm UGGS. It's cold being a jewel-toned queen, I have to tell you, particularly in all that polyester satin and organdy!)

Happy Halloween

I shall be going as a Queen to campus this morning -- in Target's finest regal robes and a head-dress that my husband tweaked a bit with wire so that it would stand up correctly. I'm so looking forward to it!  I just love wearing a shiny long gown with a poufy skirt in rich jewel tones -- even if it is just a wee bit cheesy!

Thus far I've passed out two pumpkin-buckets' worth of candy to my students this week.  Today will make a third. 

("You sure are a candy nut," one of my students observed to me when he came to my office for an appointment yesterday. No, you dork, I keep it for all of you!  Figure it out, kids.  If I ate all my own candy, I'd be in a sugar-induced coma.)

Last night there was a moderate earthquake in my area of California that literally sent students screaming from the lecture hall in the middle of a film. Those who didn't leave on their own I ordered to go home.  The campus pretty  much shut down anyway, and I wasn't going to be responsible for 65 undergraduate bodies beneath the rubble of a collapsed lecture hall, if it came to that.

Sure does wreak havoc on the syllabus, however.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

TOM

Cramps. Ow. 

Maybe I don't need my uterus after all. For women who don't intend to bear children, it's one hell of an overrated organ.

Deer in headlights

Okay, so yesterday's meeting with the grad student whose thesis proposal I am not giving a thumbs-up to was not quite as distressing as I'd imagined in would be -- but it wasn't pleasant.  He looked like a stricken deer for about 60 seconds when I told him of my decision, and I wasn't sure if he would react with disappointment, anger, tears, explosions.  I truly believe that, in that finite period of time, anything was possible because it just didn't compute for him: this possibility was not on his radar screen. However, I am shifting the burden now to my colleagues: I've okayed his giving it to them, and they can work with him for the rest of the semester.  If either of them greenlights it for a defense in December, that's fine with me. 

More reading of and commenting upon thesis proposals this morning; more meeting with grad students this afternoon; and teaching this evening.  My students will watch a film and, as usual, during the screening I'll grade papers out in the hall.

But tomorrow is Halloween and I get to dress up in my Queen costume from Target.  That thought is making me very, very happy -- perhaps happier than it should make a 46-year old woman!

Monday, October 29, 2007

R.I.P Thornfield Hall

Reader, I finished it.  As dreadful as it was at the start and in its mid-zone, it became perfectly, unspeakably awful by the finish.

In addition to the wildly inconsistent characterizations within sections, the tendency to tell rather than unfold the narrative, and the previously mentioned purple prose style, there's a conclusion which evokes arch references to Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca. Now, this would not be a problem in and of itself, and in the hands of a more competent writer, it might even have been rather clever. 

Because as all Jane Eyre aficionados know, Du Maurier's novel is a mid-20th century riff on Charlotte Brontë's, and it's rather good in its own right.  It, too, has occasioned at least two spin-offs that I'm aware of, perhaps more.

But really, when Mrs. Fairfax suddenly morphs into a parody of Dame Judith Anderson doing Mrs. Danvers, it's all a bit too much. I'm as fond of  Du Maurier's tale as the next person, not to mention the 1940 Alfred Hitchcock film of the same title -- but there's just no organic character or plot development in Tennant's novel.  It borders on camp, and I don't think camp is what she was aiming for.   Intertextuality, undoubtedly, but not camp.

Let's just say that I closed the covers of Thornfield Hall for a final time with a real sense of relief. 

Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Illustrated Jane Eyre. - By Ann Hulbert

Link: The Illustrated Jane Eyre. - By Ann Hulbert - Slate Magazine

How did I miss this? I'll have to track it down.

Uh oh.  Something just occurred to me -- which may have already struck regular readers of this blog: whenever I find myself going into obsessive mode over Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë, or other Brontë-related matters, it's usually because I'm  stressing out over something totally unrelated.  It's a way to distract my brain with something that can hold my attention and keep it from drifting to unpleasant topics.  And I think when I stress out in this particular manner and turn to JE, it's usually over something related to my professional life (rather than something personal -- if it's personal, I'm still inclined to want to turn to food, though I do far less of that than I used to, pre-surgery).

This time around?  I just made the connection ... it's about how I'm going to have to tell a grad student I'm meeting  tomorrow that his thesis proposal is not at the point where he can advance to candidacy in December and defend it successfully before the graduate committee.

My guess? He's going to be devastated.  He's driven in a kind of aggressive, off-putting way, but he doesn't have the skills or the training to back up that drive, and it's a very difficult, sensitive combination to deal with, I find (the situation is also more complicated than I can go into here). I could be wrong about what his reaction will be, but let's just say that I'm not looking forward to this meeting -- which doesn't even happen until 5:30 p.m, so I get to go through my whole exhausting day before dealing with him and the delicacies of this scenario.

Um, yeah, I'd much rather obsess on The Illustrated Jane Eyre.  Or even finish Thornfield Hall tonight (and I'm telling you, the latter is just getting worse and worse ...)

Fantasy

I've been having dreams about running in the past few months, and I think they're about -- well, running. 

(As Freud is supposed to have said [but probably didn't], "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.")

That is, I think my dreams really are about how, somewhere in the back of my head, I'm kindofsortofmaybealittlebit thinking about giving running a try. Good god, who'd have thunk?

I wouldn't want to race into it or anything (pardon the pun), and I wouldn't want to commit myself to anything. In fact, I'm thinking about thinking about it some more. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

But here's a good link to a program that folks swear by -- Couch to 5K.

Time will tell.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Flu shot and other matters

Got one today while I was grocery-shopping.  Spur-of-the-moment thing, as I usually go to my doctor for my shot but I was there, the store has a pharmacy in it, no one was in line, so ... done deal for this flu season. 

I've gotten a flu shot for the past I-can't-remember-how-many-years (because I was diabetic, my PCP insisted on it, as diabetics have compromised immune systems, and even now I figure that while my diabetes is resolved it's never considered cured, so why tempt fate?). A few people in my immediate work orbit have been coming down with flu, and I'd like to avoid it, if possible.  And a lecture hall full of hacking, coughing students is a busy germ factory -- half the time I feel like distributing disposable masks at this time of year. 

Either the shots have worked or it's been dumb luck: I haven't had flu for as long as I've been getting the shots.  I'd like to keep it that way. (Added later: Ow.  Flu shots hurt more after the fact.)

Aside from the shot and the grocery-shopping, today has been an unproductive day so far, however:  perhaps because of impending TOM as well as finding myself in this particular part of the semester, I'm tired and don't feel like working. To judge from my students' performances on a recent exam, they feel the same way.

I can't really blame them:  the normal course load within this particular university system is a heavy one, and the vast majority of my students work on top of that.  Academics just aren't always a priority for them, and although a significant part of me thinks, "Why be in college, then?", another part realizes the elitism in that attitude.  I was lucky when I was in college: I went to a better class of university, I didn't have to work as an undergraduate,  I was raised in a family where academics were a priority, and I didn't have the same kinds of challenges that  many of my students face.

Still and all, that doesn't make this feeling of wanting to curl up in a warm bed and just nap the afternoon away disappear.

Oh, that book I mentioned the other dayThornfield Hall? Just don't even bother. Don't go there. It's truly incoherent, and not in a deliberate way, either: although it changes narrational voices throughout the story (e.g., Adèle, Grace Poole, Rochester himself, to name three), that's not the problem.  The problem is the wildly inconsistent perspectives within each section and the generally melodramatic, purple prose: "As a result of the terrible jealousy she produced in mon pauvre Papa, the vicomte is dead and Monsieur Rochester can no longer return to France. How, then, can I bring them together?"  Oh, who cares? I wanted to reply at this point in the tale which is only page 68. Jane Eyre's Hidden Story (i.e., the book's subtitle) this definitely is not.

I'm further along than that now, and I expect I'll finish the book this weekend. Perhaps my opinion of it will change, but I really doubt it.  I'll let you know if it does.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Educate yourselves

Clearly the frequency of my blogging is slipping: I'm chalking it up to a combination of the usual vast amounts of work and my recent prioritizing of a developing book project/series of articles. The time has to be taken from somewhere, and so, sometimes, it's taken from blogging.

Which is still very important to me, I hasten to add: it's one of the principle ways I sift and sort through some of my daily experiences and ongoing concerns, as I've said before.  (It always amuses me when I read people's assertions that they blog for the sake of others. Er, no.  Blogging is always About Me, Me, Me, even if it's in service of what one might feel is a higher good.  That higher good is accorded its importance by the blogger, who feels compelled to write about it.  I'm not knocking it -- I'm just saying let's not flatter ourselves that we're this century's answer to Albert Schweitzer.)

However, the point of today's post is not altruism or the lack thereof; rather, it's to underscore the importance for those who are considering weight-loss surgery to consider all the options.  There are multiple forms of WLS out there, but sadly many WLS candidates as well as bariatric surgeons are unaware of the full spectrum of surgeries.  If you are considering taking the radical step of having your insides sliced and diced -- or even having foreign matter such as a band inserted into your guts -- for god's sake do the research. Read the medical literature.  Do not rely on a single surgeon's perspective, or your PCP's perspective, or even literature produced entirely by the bariatric community.  Read widely.  Make an informed choice. Take responsibility for that choice.  Don't rely on the anecdotal stories of a few people who have had the lap band, or the gastric bypass, or the vertical sleeve, or the DS. Don't rely exclusively on bloggers. Take their experiences into consideration, yes, but educate yourself through your own research.

I say this after going to a WLS support group last night at a local hospital where I was invited to speak because apparently it's soon going to be offering the duodenal switch as a WLS option, via the services of Pacific Laparoscopy's Dr. Rabkin (I'm not a patient of Dr. Rabkin, by the way). People wanted to know more about the procedure.  It was a well-attended meeting, a mixture of pre- and post-ops, and the vast majority of them had either had or were planning to have RNY gastric bypass, though I believe three had or were planning to get the lap-band.

I spoke and answered questions for about half an hour about my own experience with the DS, not with the intention to proselytize but rather to educate. Folks seemed genuinely nice and interested, but what was disheartening to me after the fact was the number of people who said to me in the course of the evening, "You know, I didn't know about the DS until [insert number of months here] after my [insert choice of WLS here]. I asked my [PCP/surgeon] about it then, and s/he'd never heard of it." 

(This shouldn't surprise me. My sister's own PCP, who's had gastric bypass himself, has never heard of the DS.) 

What's wrong with this picture?  Er, at least a couple of things: 

  • The ignorance and lack of responsibility of the medical community (uh, is it really possible for a bariatric surgeon not to know about the existence of the available forms of WLS, even if s/he performs only one or two of them? And if it is, then I don't want that person operating on my innards, thanks!)
  • The lack of concern evinced by most of the people at the support group when they realized they had made their choices without full knowledge of the range of options available to them (though I think this was, in part, because they're in the first flush of success with their chosen mode of WLS -- it's working for them right now, so there's no practical reason to feel concern)

Now, these were nice, intelligent folks at this meeting.  And I don't number myself among those who feel that their choice of surgery is the Only Correct Choice.  I believe the duodenal switch was the right choice for me, but I can completely understand choosing a different form of WLS and respect those who have and do.  The DS is definitely not for everyone.

No, what I don't get is a) making the selection of a particular form of WLS based on partial information available at the time, and b) not being distinctly uneasy about that fact later, when one discovers that one has done that, intentionally or inadvertently (of course, maybe some people were uneasy and just weren't expressing it)

I honestly find that horrifying -- but maybe that's partly because of my own personality make-up:  I'm a researcher by training, trade, and choice, and I'm also admittedly anal and a control-freak.  But the idea of leaving my education and the resulting choice of surgery in the hands of others and abdicating responsibility in that way (yes, I know that's a biased view, but that's how I see it) is just way beyond my power to understand.

Now, there were a few pre-ops who approached me, asked for more information, and I gave them my email address.  To each of them I said, "Look, just examine all the options, and then make your choice. Make the tool you choose work for you. That's all I ask."

(Note to the Rabkins: they need to get some literature and some speakers down to this hospital, pronto. Seems to me that'd be one of the first things they'd want to do ...)

Countdown to Alaskan Cruise

May 2008

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2008 Recreational Reading

2007 Recreational Reading