End of the world

Okay, it's not -- for me -- but for, say, 12,000+ folks (and counting ) in China, thanks to yesterday's earthquake, and for tens of thousands of people (and counting) in Myanmar, thanks to the recent cyclone, it sure as hell is.

And if life isn't over for hundreds of people across the American midwest, thanks to tornadoes, and several hundred in Florida and California, thanks to wildfires, it nevertheless sucks for them right now, too.

So my complaints today are entirely ridiculous and whiny. I'm even annoying myself with them:

• TOM is in the offing, I'm bloated, and once again I spent about 40 minutes this morning trying to find something in my closet that wouldn't make me feel as if I weigh 280 pounds again.

And while I am genuinely bloated (thanks to impending TOM and no doubt the greasy pub food and Guinness I had with a friend last night), I must note that this is also genuine body dysmorphia at work once again.  I literally cannot look in the mirror when I feel this way because I truly see me at 280, not me at 163.8 (today's weight). How fucked up is that?

• I have a lot of grading to do between now and May 25 when I take off on my long-awaited trip to Alaska.  (I know --- poor me, I have to work before I head off on a vacation.  Boo hoo.  See? This is really annoying, self-indulgent bullshit that I'm complaining about.)

• I'm not even wanting to set eyes on my colleagues right now -- let alone deal with them -- because this has been one rough year in terms of relationships among the faculty, and I have no patience for anyone anymore. But I still have a few more meetings and conference calls to get through with them.

• My husband is tootling around upstairs with hammer and nails making a racket right above my study, and given how stressed and out of sorts I'm feeling right now, it makes me that much more jumpy and irritable.  (However, I've plugged into headphones and am streaming music over my computer, so maybe that will help.)

Really, I want to snap someone's head off, and anyone will do. 

Deep breath.

I think I'd better make sure I take my happy pill today, get in those supplements, have a little protein, move forward, and just get over myself -- that's what I think.

Comments

[sparkly_jules]

Suffering is relative. Perception is reality. The people in China or Myanmar are not experiencing your reality in the same way that you are not experiencing theirs.

If guilt about the suffering of others is overwhelming you, make a donation. You do what you can with what you have.

You have stress: that is your reality, and it is no less important than someone suffering in their reality.

It's ok. Really.

You're almost done.

Big hug,

Jules

[Deluzy]

I know, Jules, and I'm not whipping myself with guilt.

If I were genuinely miserable (i.e., suffering from depression), I'd agree with you -- because I've been so depressed that the quality of my life was all but unbearable.

But no, I was just In a Mood, and under those circumstances, I figure it's always good to try to maintain a view of the larger picture.